shazzy

get a life, shaz!

2009-01-30T12:37:00.000+08:00

i usually blog only when i feel the need to let things out so pardon for the emo entries.

feeling down right now, though about things that are not THAT important. i hate changes. and there are somewhat alot of changes taking place that i am slowly aware of. changes not to my favor, at all. boohoo. :(

somehow i hope i can focus my mind on the more important stuff - school, work and perhaps savings? i need a DAY life. and i think i need to start being able to work and live independently. i guess im just being to dependent on my peers. i am getting to attached with some that somehow sometimes i cannot live without them.

i should start to get serious with life - let my mind rule and not my heart. cos my heart rules most of the time. i need to prioritize things that matter more than those which dont. i need to prioritize people that matter more than those who dont.

i need to stop being so childish over things. i need to tell, and i will. whether or not that person likes it, i will move on with life. at least ive done my job and so i would not regret not telling.

i hate my life.
sometimes.

lost.

2008-10-28T01:54:00.000+08:00

was browsing around facebook when i came across something.

"if you prick us, do we not bleed? if you tickle us, do we not laugh? if you poison us, do we not die? if you wrong us, do we not revenge?"

got it from a status update of a friend.
find it pretty cool that i felt like sharing. heh.

somehow, the whole thing makes sense, doesnt it?
heh.

sidetrack, i miss my friends! :(

remorsed.

2008-09-17T04:24:00.000+08:00

to start off, i was already utterly disappointed with myself for disappointing another. felt really guilty and remorseful about it.

sure i deserved that cold treatment. but ive profusely apologised as i know there was nothing much i could do to make it up. but it was even more upsetting to know that it came from my own (imaginary) daddy.

once again, im sorry.

down.

2008-09-16T22:44:00.000+08:00

and the feeling just sucks.
period.

the sweetest love.

2008-09-14T04:16:00.000+08:00

omg! omg! omg!
i love robin thicke!
and i LOVEEEE this song!

video below is taken live when mr thicke sang live in san diego.

loves it! :))

diagnosed with love.

2008-09-14T04:01:00.000+08:00

if you did go to my main page, you would have heard the song.

ouh gosh how i love it.
just the way i love 'with you'. :)

Diagnosed With Love
- Chris Brown

I'm Starin At The Clock
It's A Quarter To Three
I'm Tossin In My Bed
Cause I Jus Can't Sleep
Cause You're Not Here With Me
I'm Reachin Out For You
I Wish I Could Talk To You
Tryna Figure Out What's Goin On With Me
I'm Use To Havin All The Answers For Everything
Oh Girl
I Think She Is The One
Where Is That Comin From?

It's So Crazy
Baby You Simply Amaze me
So Much More Than Lately
I Owe It All To You (Owe It All To You)
All Those Games We
Use To Play Now
Seem So Lame To Me
What I'm Comin Down With
Feels New To Me
All I Know Is That You Are The Cure
Cause I Been Diagnosed With Love

Does Anybody Know The Answer To This Question
Cause I'm Confused Now
I'm Opened For Suggestions
My Heart Is Talkin Loud (So Loud)
What Is This About (About)
I'm Really Changin Now, Oh
Cleared All The Numbers Out My Phone
Done Left That Whole Life Alone
Those Are Two Of The Symptoms I See
And I Believe
Oh Girl, I Am Sure
That You Are My Miracle

tokyo or redang?

2008-07-29T09:12:00.000+08:00

kl - here i come! :)

2008-04-18T01:48:00.000+08:00

in less than 3 hours i will be leaving singapore for kl!

however, sad that i wont be able to watch apm 08 at klcc afterall. daly still hasnt updated mum regarding that. and mum has said that she will not be taking it up if he is taking bros with them. notice is a little to late and it would be a rush as the boys are not really ready. moreover, exam period is drawing nearer.

and so i shall be spending 4 days in kl enjoying myself with izzah. haha. wani will be coming with her mum and sisters a day later. im still thinking of where i should go, what i should do and blablabla there. izzah planned for a night entertainment at some club -- which im so not into. hah.

i shall spend my time wisely there. im looking forward to it!

woohoo~!

wish me fun people. =)

no more dragging.

2008-04-17T11:36:00.000+08:00

the condition of my laptop has been pretty bad of late.
and im giving up. haha.

shit always happens as the last payment approaches.

xxx

work has been better than ever.

all thanks to the newbies who recently joined us. they are definitely a fun bunch. the whole team blended so well together. in time, i have realised that i actually enjoyed going to work. no more draggy nights. i have managed to work through those nights without having to whine about dozing off.

even those few who initially planned to change to a different shift changed their minds. they seem to have enjoyed themselves coming into our team, i guess? haha. whatever it is, those different personalities that were brought have indeed brought more life into the team.

ouh. i love my team. lol.

xxx

i kinda regret taking extra leave for tonight. haha. but if i were to work, i would then have to take a later bus. hah.

and im excited for the kl trip! that i wish to take the earliest bus possible.

ouh crap.

xxx

ouh. just so to say.

fad smsed me last night asking if i would be interested to watch the p ramlee musical that is coming over to singapore in may. haha! i had known about this even before it was advertised. zaha had told me that he may be participating in the event. hah.

and the best thing is, i have been wanting to watch a musical for so damn long. but i never asked around as i never thought there would be any of my mates who would be interested to watch a musical, whats more a malay one.

but hey. fad and dzaf are interested to go! yey!

i will really be looking forward towards this musical. heh. =)

16 hours of sleep.

2008-04-13T20:40:00.000+08:00

gosh.
i am so damn tired.

cant believe i actually went through this.

had my last night shift for the week on friday before my 2 days off.
ended work at 8am, after which i joined some colleagues for breakfast.
and then i headed down to sp to join the girls for their training.

as soon as i reached home, i slept from 9pm til 8am.
in between the sleep, i was awakened a few times.
and then about 10min after 8, i slept again.
til 1pm.

HAHA!

i had NEVER slept so much. i swear.
and i will make sure it does not happen again. hurhur.
was then an hour late for my sunday training.

training today was GREAT.
was tired and shagged. body was aching.
and i took my own breaks "suka-suka" drinking gallons of water.
was complaining so much about how tired i was.

but hell.
at the end of it, i felt that its sooo worth it.
i feel the fats burning! HAHA!

like real. lol.
loved it though!

xxx

i am so excited over the upcoming kl trip.
haha.

the first time i did my own sourcing.
transportation, hotel.
own bookings.

am so looking forward to it.
be it or not its confirmed bros are gonna perform for apm 2008.
if not, im just gonna spend a helluva time there. hee.

cant wait! =)

random.

2008-04-11T07:24:00.000+08:00

no particular topic. just felt like blogging. hahajapan trip was fun. though it was kinda short, i had a great time with the bunch -- just the right group of people i need for my first backpacking trip.indeed it was freaking memorable and i loved it. =)

xxx

team 15 is already out on the floor with us. and so we now have 7 new people joining us. funny that the person almost everyone had been noticing because of his somewhat peculiar style, turned out to be my primary schoolmate. someone who was deemed a really good boy back then, and also one of our higher ranked prefects.

and ouh. not to forget another 2 who just got transferred from another team. glad all the newbies are okay. we all got along quite well.

hope things will go fine.

xxx

canon eos 450D is out!

its selling out in the store for at least sgd1,299. mom's friend who is somehow related to canon company itself, is quoting me sgd1,191. im keen in getting it but i guess i shouldnt rush myself into buying it -- which is one of other bad habit apart from punctuality. haha.

its gonna cost me a grand. i guess i should take it slow. lol. so there you go. i shall wait for later. heh.

xxx

kl trip is confirmed.

am not really sure if bros are really performing for apm 2008 as dali (ahlifiqir) has not confirmed with mom yet. however, ive decided to go ahead with my own trip even if they are not making it there.

cant wait! :)

xxx

okay. done. told you its damnn random. haha. i just felt like typing. and blogging. and "talking to myself". lol.

anyway.
anyone knows the best way to save money with really high interest? haha.

im all about finance now. hah.

a major squabble.

2008-04-09T05:09:00.000+08:00

yes. just had that with an online mate over the simplest matter you can ever imagine.

"my feet will always touches the ground."

okay. that was his personal msg in msn.
and what i did was to correct him. lol.

"its not touches. it should be touch because feet is plural."

and the i gave him this example.

"he puts his hand in his pocket.
they put their hands in their pocket."

and he went on saying

"see? his hand. their hands."

and then i said

"you should be looking at the word put.
he puts. they put. not hands."

and he went on arguing.

"put is an action word."

i said

"a verb. and so is touch.
touch is an action."

and then we went on and on squabbling over it.
this guy just cannot accept the fact that he is wrong.

someone, please do me a favour.
just tell me he is wrong. lol.

damn.
i am VERY particular with grammar.

which is why i always turn to fahd or sal, in case of any errors.

HAHA.

2007-09-23T06:16:00.000+08:00

surprisingly, my 230th post.

which may be my last. im moving people. to here.

will make a come back here should i be unhappy at the new home. hurhur. thanks to all my regular visitors. you know who you are. :)

2007-09-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

first day of fasting today went fine. sahur went great with the gang at work. had mum's chicken rice for break fast.

for the first time after so many months, i watched the news today. after experiencing the tremors at work, i was made aware and was curious of what is exactly going on and what is going to happen next.

to my research, i read that singapore experienced tremors from the earthquake in sumatra for about 4-6 times today. the most serious quake's magnitude reached to as high as 8.5 on the richter scale -- which is DAMN CRAZYY! gawdd. i hope nothing serious is happening to the world. *prays*

anyway, i have done some research on psp -- not deep enough to understand the difference of the various versions in the market but enough to know what i should get. currently, psp slim is already out but for the moment, it is not possible to have it modified. the difference between psp slim and psp is that it is slimmer, lighter, has a higher ram which means that it runs faster and it can be connected to the tv.

i find it rather cool and the price is rather okayy but then again the fact that i have to purchase original games makes me think twice. i would rather have a modified one. but then again, psp slim may go with modification but earliest would only be around next year. and so perhaps i still have ample time to contemplate.

however, i'd better save money this month for raya. and also for future needs. HAHA.

i hate my job.

2007-09-13T10:37:00.000+08:00

okayy.

i tried livejournal but i still prefer blogger. maybe im just too attached to this. i mean like, of course! i have been using this since 2004 or was it 2005.

but i am contemplating.
still.

anyway. life at work was damn freaky today. i was deeply focusing on my work when i felt the office building swaying. and indeed, everyone felt it except for some stupid manager whom i think were trying to act heroic or something and saying it was nothing. gosh. these are the show-offs who would "die" for the company.

and fyi.
the company's not a to-die-for.

i am still thinking...
psp... LOL.

2007-09-11T15:49:00.000+08:00

feel the need to beautify my blog with a post full of photos. lol.

met my beautiful baby cousins last weekend and they are getting soo damnn cute!

azrul -- i dunno who told him to do that kissing look.. but its cute. haha.

aizad -- we made him wear my bro's cap and we think it looks damn cool! lol~!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

suntec dance 2007 finals was a freaking blast!
and i had soooo muchh funnn~!

and my bro made it to the top 3! shahiran was awarded 2nd place! you did great bro! kudos~!

they were saying shazran got 1st in 2005.
and this year shah got 2nd.
so another year i should join and perhaps get a third.

only for junior solo category, can lah. HAHA.

congrats adikk~! ;)

its sposed to be only the girls but that night was full of "penyelits" so yeah. plus a "momok" at the back. haha.

featuring my ultimate favourite dancer -- zaihar aka groove (above).
and another favourite aka head spinner -- phiz (below).

was sposed to be taken only with mud (above), and only bro shazran and fouzi (below). but then again, all the penyelits. and azlan's nice dimples - envyy.

hot favourite of many girls -- gino.

and the best photo award goes to...

dee and dancer from 8-steps! look at that expression on dee's face. reason is being she doesnt even know why the hell she was taking a shot with him -- she was framed! lol.

and that marks the end of my great weekend before fasting month arrives. more pictures may be viewed here.

til then...

2007-09-10T23:59:00.001+08:00

ive noticed that im not the only one being too caught up with work and activities to spare any of the time i used to spend on blogging. not anymore. and im just thinking of deleting this account. hahah.

but well, theres always a catch. i might fully switch to multiply.

yeah. just like you, syazlin. =)

-------------------------------------------------------

i hate night shift.

imagine.

working from 11pm and all the way to 9am the next day. i can go crazy. my brain could go dead and my system would need a complete overhaul. haha. i feel the company's stupid. and i cant wait to leave.

i have been saying this again and again. but thinking about my plans for the future, i felt that its better to stay. but ever since a dear sister at work was telling me about searching for other jobs, i felt that again, its time. haha.

im lazy to blog. i wanna learn something new.

photography.

anyone willing to teach? lol.

2007-09-07T17:31:00.000+08:00

was friendster-ing around when i came across a friend's profile where he put some link in his shoutbox. curious, i was then awed by his own site of beeeaauuutiful and professionally-taken photos. and damn, i was deeply amazed.

i thought photography was his profession. hell no. it is only a hobby. freaking hell~!

new shift has started and i am so far happy with the afternoon shift timing. but am sooo not looking forward to night! i will be starting my night shift at 11 tonight and i wonder whether or not i will be able to last til 9am the next day. God, please help!

other than that, fasting month is coming. i aint mentally prepared yet. *sigh.

anyways. suntec dance 2007 up tomorrow! 8th sept, 6pm at suntec fountain of wealth! woohoo~! im soo looking forward to it while secretly hoping my bro would be the junior solo champion for this year since shazran was 2 years back. only then maybe next time it'll be my turn. but only for junior solo. HAHA!

all the best to shahiran. and also the rest including sfb for the competition. those who would be able to make it, do drop by and join us.

see ya~!

i miss the night people who never fail to rawk my nights.
you people are still the best, no matter what~!

2007-09-01T10:36:00.000+08:00

seems that life is overwhelmed with work and driving. and the latter is burning a huge hole in my pocket. im overly obsessed!

fad. zana. dzaf.
HELP~!

just 7 days, im already left with less than half of my pay this month. im sooo broke. with the education plan ive made and those goals ive set to achieve, im so gonna be dead. now when im caught in this type of situation, only then i know that money IS the most important NEED.

tonight will mark the end of my 6mths night shift. and hence starting from 2nd september onwards, i'll be on rotating basis! just what ive been waiting for. i shall now have to really manage my time well (i know some of you will be going "yeah right shaz"). heh.

and so i hope to plan my time well and manage my life the right way.

okay this entry is soo random. haha.
im bored. heh.

2007-08-28T14:04:00.001+08:00

driving went okay today. except for one thing.

the instructor sucks. BIG time.

because of him, i instantaneously applied for a fixed instructor so as not to encounter any bugger like him ever again. however, im proud to have driven from ubi to tampines earlier on. felt like driving in to my home carpark and tell him, "im going home. you can now drive back."

heheh.

hence, from now on, mr esman shall be my instructor. haha. melayu pun melayu lah. at least i will have fun. heh.

mom cooked my favourite today -- a thick and extremely black sotong. whoa. the best thing is out of the many sotong, i managed to savour the best -- the only one with egg. gawdd.

haha.

ever since i played izzah's psp, i felt like having one. its funny though when we actually have one at home. and it never caught my interest. not even once. and now, i want one. maybe, bonus time? haha.

okay for now i shall now think about further expenses. these shall come first -- driving. sae. =)

what would life be next?
im so excited.

2007-08-28T00:59:00.000+08:00

last weekend was one of my best ever.

saturday at suntec was great. apart from the 40 great dance performances, i got to meet alot of long lost peeps -- those i really missed. sayy sfb and matk? took a number of shots and love it all.

for the dances, however, im not as awed this year as i was by the choice finalists last two years. i felt that the judges this year are biased. 90% of the finalists are chinese. and not to say im racist but i do think many would agree with me saying that malays are USUALLY better dancers. whatever it is, congrats to all who made it to the finals.

**suntec dance 2007 heats 3 **

after 3 full days of brooding over that floorball carnival matter, im glad we made it afterall. of course it would have been really unfair if i and zana were to back out just because we lack players at the very last minute when we really want to play! thank god we had wani junior save our day. thanks to her i forgot all the disappointment i had and i did enjoy myself. alot.

we did not win anything but the fun and experience was there. and that was all that matters. really.

**national floorball carnival 2007**

thanks team faceless and team noiz.
that was a great experience really.

you girls RAWK!
=)

2007-08-23T13:14:00.000+08:00

*sigh.

i feel so demotivated. this weekend we will be having the 3 on 3 floorball carnival. and our registered 4-man team is now down to 2.

now that its confirmed and the money been paid, my dear fickle friend finally decided not to join us. and i just received an sms from another saying that she is going for some mouth surgery today and if she were to be advised from the doctor, she will not play. only the captain is still all the way out for it.

im not angry. just a wee bit upset and disappointed. at the same time, demotivated. i should have been informed of a confirmed answer earlier. and the surgery should have been made known way earlier too.

im not blaming them. instead i blame myself. i shouldnt have asked them when they had said once that they are not going to involve themselves into the floorball world again.

urgh. perhaps if everythings not going on fine then i shall have to pull the team out from the comp. its so damn bloody upsetting. really.

this is occupying too much of the space in my head that i cant think of anything else for now. i just hope for 24th and 25th to pass on quickly.

and then everything will be over.

2007-08-20T15:54:00.000+08:00

driving lesson today was uber fun!

despite the unease of having a young malay instructor (sucky!), everything went perfectly fine. i was actually made to drive outside! hah.

i personally think i did okay for steering control but i suck big time at those leg works - changing of gear, braking, accelerating etc. i still have that fear and doubting attitude towards myself. and im still afraid of driving! lol.

however, true enough like what my friends say. the more lessons i go to, the more i wanna drive. and im addicted. gawwd. and now all thats in my mind is me driving around in my very own car. haha. termenung jauh sey.

ouh fad. dzaf. im lovin it. i cant wait to finish all the lessons and pass my tp lah. tak sabar! heheh. but i think for now, i had better concentrate on passing my ftt first.

which i have not even book. lol.

im in love and i dun wanna stop...
driving....
LOL.

2007-08-16T11:36:00.000+08:00

went to the driving centre's website and i managed to book a practical lesson for myself! like finally! gosh. for once i felt the need to be greedy and i booked two instead. heh. and im so excited for those. woohoo. heh.

i suddenly feel the need to update matk inc's multiply. not as if i always do but i just feel the need to. ouh if you multipliers are reading this, yes its run by me. :P haha.

finally manage to find out the way to upload a video from youtube, uploaded by someone else. and yes. i NEVER knew. gosh. lol.

and so i decided to have all the old videos up. i cant really remember what the old videos are and so i browsed around the favourite videos from my youtube account.

then i came across the item from danceworks 2006 competition. mummys angels the kuzzinz inc and styles from beyond.

i have to say, that is the best dance ive ever watched til today. creative, innovative and entertaining. though i wasnt part of the dance (as in the dancers) and would die to be, im proud to have been partly involved in the preparation of the whole thing. i felt their victory.

i could still remember all the get-together. late nights at the park, their practices (watching while secretly wishing i could join), their funny and stupid acts, crazy jokes, and the fun and laughter. preparation of the props (i was only involved with the masks), late night sleeps, houses that turned topsy turvy and blablabla. i could go on and on. but then yeah.

i miss the togetherness that isnt anymore. *sigh.

once again, i must congratulate matk inc and sfb for their superb job! that was definitely the best or shall i say the dopest dance ever!

WICKED~! ;)

2007-08-15T11:43:00.000+08:00

i really dont understand. some people are given good looks but they prefer to make themself look ugly. hahah.

i have this crazy friend whos rather good looking. in fact he was the winner of some competition last year, involving a good face plus acceptable body. lol. he tried for some crazy fun and for some unexpected reason, he won. he was called in by mtv for interview, and some fashion labels for modelling.

however, those are not his thing. he prefers to slack around, which is fine. his style of dressing is really slack which is fine too. but he seems to enjoy having the company of weird accessories like this really huge old-fashioned black plastic spectacles which makes him look almost exactly like that old time superman.

you know when superman in real life is this nerd with neatly combed hair with huge specs? yes. THAT specs. LOL.

another side of the story.

apparently, that friend of mine is worried about his audition for deal or no deal. in case you dont know, they may have males instead of females carrying the 26 briefcases for the second season. haha. what nonsense.

he would embarrassed should there be any hunks auditioning for the same thing. and yes he is cute, tall but thin. HAHA. omg.

but from my point of view, he only has one problem.

lacking of confidence.

and then i realise.
i lack of that too. hurhur.

2007-08-14T19:11:00.000+08:00

was browsing through and look what i found.

heh.

2007-08-12T11:40:00.000+08:00

i love blogging. but sometimes im just too lazy. how i wish blogger could have a voice automated system which can detect whatever i say, put them into written words and then publish them here. hahah.

ever since i went for my first, one and only practical lesson, i have been logging in every minute into the school's website to check for available slots. im so eager for one. and THAT is an understatement. i wanna driveeee~!

work sometimes makes me feel like being in a secondary school with rigid rules. and now plus supposedly mature adults-with-attitude going around, things just get worse.

and if you are reading this, yes.
i AM referring to YOU.

wake up.

for once, knock some senses into your head.
if thats not possible, try using a hammer.

if you think your move will spite us, youre WRONG. in fact, it looks even more pathetic.

if you think your malicious smile and laughter will turn us green-eyed, youre wrong AGAIN. its more fake than ever.

and if you think you gang up with the correct "adult" to go against us, its a BIG MISTAKE.

you hate hypocrites?
*aplause* congratulations. *applause*

you just got yourself one.

im not trying to show disrespect. but i just hope you will wake up. for heavens sake, you are not getting any younger. and at YOUR age, you are supposed to have matured.

but since you choose to act a childish way (which IS sad), i dont care. good luck to you.

i really feel the need to post some shoutouts.
and it goes to:-

TEAM FACELESS
when are we training babes?
im growing.
and i reeaaallyy mean GROW.

KOPI CLAN
do we really need forever to plan an outing?
hahah. i miss you girls lah.

SPFB RETIREES
when are we gonna meet again?
and this time, a goood longg evening for ourselves? =)

STILL-PLAYING-FB BUDDIES
i miss you girls lah. ALL OF YOU.
please say you'll meet me. =)

2007-08-08T12:02:00.000+08:00

91.3fm has this contest going on.

everytime they play a song by justin/good charlotte, you are supposed to sms in the title of the song with a particular format. if the dj calls you back, then you win yourself a justin/good charlotte's cd plus you are automatically in the draw to watch justin + good charlotte's concert in los angeles!

and so what i did was tune in to 91.3fm at 6am while at work as i wait for a number by mr timberlake. my hp was right in front of me, already at the drafts folder where i had templates of the required format with all of justin's songs.

while the djs were yakking, lovestoned intro was playing. without hesitation, i quickly sent in my msg.

i must have been too quick that after the song, the dj said he was going to call someone really creative in participating. we could hear the dialtone and little did i know, when the line was ringing on the radio, my hp vibrated!

i answered the call and went hysterical hearing myself on the radio! lol. and so he KNEW that i had templates ready for the contest as i was really quick. heh.

im a step closer to watching JT's concert!!! wooohoo~!

and ouh. they recorded our conversation and put me in one of their adverts when i said my northwest airlines mates are die-hard fans of 91.3fm. wanna win, must angkat. HAHA.

but i hate my voice.
so cartoon.

anyways.
wish me luck people.
i wanna go LA! lol.

omg.
im such a freak.
ah whatever. lol.

2007-08-07T15:52:00.001+08:00

ouh.

i just realised that i forgot to post this up. hehe.

im just soo proud of my siblings lah.
period.

2007-08-05T10:13:00.000+08:00

omg.
im such a good samaritan of singapore.
and im soo proud of myself.
HAHAH.

anyways.

my first driving lesson, with my glenn-ong-look-a-like-with-funky-hairstyle instructor larry minus my lack of physical and mental alertness yesterday, went great.

he started off with the safety of getting in and out of the vehicle, and later introducing me to parts of the car. as much as i should have been interested, i wasnt.

i forgot most of what he had explained. HAHA.

however i tried hard to absorb. i tried my best to remember and understand. but there were too many things that i could not remember almost everything. lol. and the part i dreaded most was the part when he explained when is the right time to step on the clutch, the brakes and the accelerator. gawdd.

disaster came about right after i reluctantly and unconfidently took over. after which i dreaded driving. and larry looked like he was really giving up on me. hahah. but then again he kept saying,

"no, no. for a starter, you were good and you can control the car well."

and i know he was bull-shitting. LOL.

to top off my day, he ended the lesson with the most out-of-topic question ever.

"eh my hair okay or not?"

WAHAHAHAH.
my instructor is damn funny. really.

thought i hated driving already. but then i began to miss the feel.

and now i cant wait to book the next lesson. haha!

i lurvee my life.
sometimes.

2007-07-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

i hate looking at my old photos.

arent you supposed to look better as you grow older?

seems like its opposite for me.

then.

now.

gosh.
im badly in need of weight-losing.

2007-07-27T11:49:00.001+08:00

*sigh.

am badly in need of another digital camera.
mum simply lurveees bringing the camera around to dance practices, which i think is fairly redundant. when the only relevant time to have pictures taken is during the dance item itself.

she brought it to a rehearsal today.
and the real thing is just tmw!
gawwwd.

and now i have to go to a concert with 2 friends, one of whom ive not seen in ages. and not have any pictures taken with them.

stop it already! we dont need photos for EVERY SAME DANCE you know. urrgh! this is so frustrating! next time i shall carry my camera to WHEREVER i go.

as cliche as it may sound, noone is perfect indeed.
everyone has his own flaws.

when someone you dont know talks about yours, you call that gossiping. and when a friend does that, you call that backstabbing. and then you call your friend a hypocrite.

tell me that you NEVER talk about a friend's flaws ever.

you do, right?
why dont you call that yourself?

hypocrite.

i really hate those who gets mad upon knowing that a friend talks bad about them but ignorant of the fact that they do the same thing behind their friend's back too.

whats wrong with accepting the fact that friends do talk behind you? but of course, they talk about your flaws which is not something they made up on their own.

now that you know what people are talking about you, why dont you take that as an opportunity for you to improve instead of going around sarcastically telling others that you are what your friend has said about you?

and because of that, you decided to gang up with another, and get yourself into another bowl of hot soup. and for that, you found yourself in a state of denial and start blaming others for accusing you to doing something you actually did.

wake up. get into the real world.
you have overlooked another fact.

you are your own hypocrite.

yes you may still be young.
but you are old enough to think of the best way to react.
you are old enough to be able to behave the way you shouldve bahaved.

which you didnt.

in other words, my advice to you is.
it is time for you to GROW UP.

2007-07-26T18:37:00.000+08:00

never did i imagine that calling off tuition would make me feel like ive taken a huge load of burden out of my chest. and yes. my tuition career will officially end once my employer finds a replacement.

after which i will be one of the HAPPIEST lonely girl on earth.
or is it lady? hah.

that shall mean i can soon dedicate about 47% of my time to work and overtime, 18% to workouts at the gym and floorball, 17% to family, dances (viewing only) and lazing around at home with my best friend the lappie, 12% with beloved friends and 6% to driving.

oops.
looks like i left out on some stuff
sleeping, eating and travelling from place to place.
*numerals are subject to changes.

am most excited about having all the free time doing things i want to, with no absolute obligations.

and this is what i call.

LIFE.

2007-07-24T17:08:00.000+08:00

the meeting with the girls was too short. in need of another. and of course in need of a meeting and a good training to prepare for the carnival. im soo excited. and dzaf. you'd better be on with it. =)

ive KINDA decided. once my tuition lessons for this month is complete, i am going to quit teaching. i am gonna focus more on my work (and OTs if there is any), floorball, gym and my brothers' dances.

less money shall call for, of course, less spending and more self-dicipline.

BUT.
more time.

just what i need.
woohoo~!

anyways. ahlifiqir's 2x5 mtv preview is up in youtube. yey! dear bros are in. heh. check it out.

2007-07-23T14:03:00.000+08:00

my saturday at the spfb girls' training went unexpectably great. though i got myself really shagged after work and dozing off in the train, i did not even regret for one bit. despite being the only alumni to be present after shan's hangover. what the hell lah ashan! :P

and yesterday's matching-watching. i then realized how much i miss my old friends! zai, sal and wani. and i sure miss zai's lectures and advices. hee. ouh well.

and ikhmal. after soo long of not seeing him. i had to take a second look to actually recognise him! he lost so much weight. and looks soo different now. much better of course. and im soo inspired. gosh~! and he'd better mean it when he said hes bringing me to jog. lol.

and his mad friend. haha. one crazy guy. and when i say crazy, i reaaally mean CRAZY. hah.

meeting the girls tonight. at settlers! ayun! im going to settlers! finally! hee.

and i have to skip the gym session today.
and willy's class! ouh my willy. HAHA.

ouh well.
nevermind.
for you girls, i shall sacrifice.
HAHAH.

ouh.
i love last night.

lets do it again people!
=)

2007-07-20T00:29:00.000+08:00

zwee had just updated me on my long awaited annual event.

women's day out 2007!

its gonna take 2 days. and the activities look sooo fun! i have been wanting to go and for sure i am going for it this year. trying to gather as many people. as cliche as it may sound, the saying always turns out true -- the more the merrier!

go check out the web at http://www.womensdayout.sg/.
lets workout and have fun together ladies!

=)

2007-07-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

there must be something wrong with creative. it takes you only few months or weeks to spoil it. hah.

i remember kaklin's creative nano which we got for her birthday last year. and i swear shes the type who takes care of her stuff really well. her mp3 got partially spoilt in less than 2mths. and my creative stone got corrupted within 2 weeks! what the! damn. im sorry girls.

okay. and so it gave me all the right reason to go search for a new one instead of sending it over for repair. and i am definitely a happy customer with a satisfying buy. and a loyal fan of samsung whenever it comes to mp3. sound, function, design. samsung has it all. hee.

went for willy's class for the 2nd time last night. he got his steps rather complicating this time with half beats going on for mariah's we belong together. it was crazy! but he was nice enough to come up to me and kak gha to see if we were okay. haha! inah! he came up to us! heh. and he remembered we came over to his class once. ouh gawd. hes cute. lol.

think i wanna try going for his class more often lah. lol.

--------

was rather excited about the floorball carnival. but i only found out yesterday my friends had already registered. *sigh. and to think one of them suggested that i join up with 2 others who are as busy and inactive like me. hah. crazy. that totally blew away the whole excitement. thanks eh zai. :P

however. i did try my luck to ask the retirees. those who had unofficially vowed not to play again. haha! and im happy with huda's response. am still waiting for the other two. if all's set, im going. yey~!

and ouh.
i LOVE ne-yo's do you remix with mary j blige!

ne-yo rawk big time lah!

2007-07-14T16:57:00.000+08:00

went for sp girls training today and i had the most body-aching time ever. gawd. emily really made us bend down and work on our stickwork that i thought i needed anlene right away.

the week has been rather good. i made new friends unexpectedly. caught up with old friends. and what have you. and i realised how much ive missed the old ones. and the news ones are honourable musicians - young and old. im so excited over the whole idea of getting in touch with the orchestra world all over again. ouh yesss~!

contemplating whether or not i should join my friends for the ntuc-sponsored floorball 3-on-3 play in august. im eager to do so but the idea of playing in the open and me not having any good trainings for many months got me thinking twice. should i?

okay.seems like i have found a new interest.

travel. :)
to where dzaf?

anyways. im pretty happy with life now and im looking forward to my tomorrows. hee.

ouh yes. im going to a university fair tmw (15th july). just to look around with hopes of getting something of course. haha.

anyone?

ithinkilikeyou. :D

2007-07-09T04:08:00.000+08:00

my genting trip went great except for the fact that prices have tremendously increased there especially the food. imagine having a small cup of drink and a cup of sweet corn at ten ringgit. despite the currency, i still think the increment's absurd.

had soo much fun there. with 6 wacky people - inah, yuana, sahrul, dian, john and inah's bro mamat. sad we couldnt stay long as i couldnt get my leave approved on the 7th.

upon our arrival, we could only walk around the place. stuffed ourselves with food and looked around pretty first world. and the most memorable thing i did - sky venturing. that sky diving activity they had there, sponsored by inah's friend asraf. geez. it sure was freaking crazy. had a hard time trying to breathe in that room of extremely strong air pressure and all i could remember was saliva all over the lower part of my face. i could take a cup and collect it if i wanted to. haha!

day one was short though. just that and a long night at one of the clubs there. not as if im a fan but luckily enough it was ladies' night and so i went in free. hahah. though i was rather shy to sway my way at the dancefloor, i still did and i enjoyed myself there. observed some funny characters and yeah. thats it. hah.

day two was of course the most happening. we spent the whole day at the theme park. and i finally took their freaking corkscrew - it was uber fun! not to forget my ever favourite 15-metre tower space shot and that crazy spiderman ride. shiok~! we ended the night yakking away with inah's friend at starbucks, thrashing each other with riddles. haha! looks like ive collected quite a few. anyone up for a good thinking? lol.

day three was extremely short of course. and i swear i didnt feel like going home. well we all didnt. but we sadly had to. and yeah. 11 am we were already up the bus. i even missed my ayam goreng mcd! what the hell! arrrghhh! ahah.

whatever it is, im back! and i feel the critical need to go off to somewhere again. say, kl? who's game for that? heh.

and dont ask me whats with that song in the blog.
its just this new crazy-about-mocca-and-jazz season.
all thanks to inah's bro. haha.

*click here for pics at genting.

2007-07-04T14:27:00.000+08:00

ouh.

i forgot to mention...
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HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY TO MY EVER WONDERFUL POLY-HALF...

WANEK!!!

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heh.
may all your wishes come true and may you find the love of your life soon. hee.
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and ouh.
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timbaland rocks!
HAHA.

2007-07-04T12:49:00.000+08:00

i really really wanna blog about something but i dont know what to blog about and i dont seem to have much time here coz im SUPPOSED to be asleep already. lol.

im having good times so far and am leaving for malaysia in less than 24hours. dont miss me people. HAHA.

wish me enjoyment okay.
this shall be my first overseas trip without the family.

im sooo gonna miss you mummy!
*hugz*

yes yes. im being a baby.
so what?

i love my mummy and am proud to be mummy's girl.
:P

2007-06-24T05:01:00.000+08:00

*post have been updated with pictures*
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22nd June 2007 - a date to remember.

proud i am to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.
and i have them all to thank for this unforgettable day for me. so please bear with me this one long post.

to start off, i have fahdillah to thank. thanks for the dinner fahd. and also to fahd's sis, faezah, and dzaf, thanks for the meet-up. though it was only for a short while, it was worth it. you dont know how long i have not been out. haha. a huge refreshment for me. must meet up again soon okay! thanks for all babes. =)

next i have the whole wacky batch of night shift peeps of northwest. i cant help it. i MUST blog about the things that happened to me. i want to be able to look back and grin from ear to ear everytime i read this post.

after dinner with the three lovely girls, i rushed down to work. overwhelmed by the fact that i was late (as usual), i totally forgot the date, the time and everything else. well not until everyone in the office started singing the birthday song. haha. then later, one-by-one they came over to personally wish me. so sweet.

and i thought that was all.

when breaktime finally came, i wanted to sleep. those wacky people, instead, stopped and blindfolded me. yuana brought me round and round the office for about 5 mins. and when the mysterious stroll eventually ended, they made me wear a little party hat and after i took my blindfold off, the rest of the crew were all ready with spraying cans and party poppers. with sreams of "surprise!!!", i got attacked. and all i could do was to stand there and surrender myself to those confetti and overpowering chemical smell. ooh.

then they presented me with a nice mango cake, the pressie and not to forget the huge birthday card i envy so much. hee. they got me a pretty brown puma watch - which i am wearing right this instant! woohoo~! i have 3 now! heh. and they made a mini potluck to celebrate with it too! how nice.

well. i guess a birthday is never complete without a sabotage? haha.

so of course things got dirty. with the cake. and other food. but the worst i must say is sahrul's mixture of mayonaise and chilli cornbeef. eeww. and yuana's full cake-smash!

breaktime was fully utilised. and again when i thought that was all, it wasnt! they had something even more major planned. i was brought down to the first level, tricked that sahrul is sending us over to cali gym with his so-called 7seater. haha! idiots. and i fell for it!

and so my reward for believing -- waterbombs, melted sweet corn ice-cream and egg mixtures! after which i got drenched. urgh. thanks eh yun! kau lah sahabat handai. heh.

for that whole event, i shall like to thank the main casts: yuana, inah, lina, sahrul, dian, shasha, julie, shima, nani and not to forget the rest involved. i had soo much fun! hee. i lurve you all to the maximum lah~!

after about one and a half hour of workout at the gym, i dragged myself to royals to get that birthday cake my aunt ordered for me. nice. thanks mama!

as soon as i got home, i was presented with another mini celebration. my family tried to surprise me but cutey shahiran spoilt it. i caught him tiptoe-ing into his room with the pressie! haha. funny boy. anyway, my family got me a u-zap! lol. mummy's really thoughtful. i can see she really yearns to see a slimmer daughter. hahah. i love you loads mum! and of course papa, shazran and shahiran too! thanks for that inspiring gift. lol.

spent my time after that, sleeping. couldnt stand the fatigue i was facing and my heavy eyes. before i could complete my full 6 hours of rest, i was awakened by a birthday song. little did i know, few of my dearest old mates were right in front of my bed with a cake and a lighted candle! those sweet darlings had actually made their way down to my home just to celebrate my birthday with me just because i was too tired to meet! no words could describe how i felt. i couldnt help but just to put a wide ear-to-ear smile on my face the whole time.

and no girls. its is not the mp3. and neither is it the cake you bought. its the effort and the gift of friendship you have given me. thats just about the sweetest thing anyone has done for me!

i wholeheartedly appreciate what you girls did. from the bottom of my heart, i would like to thank 4 beautiful ladies: nissa, zahiah, izzah and dee. i shall never ever forget that memorable moment. it was the best surprise ever! love you girls!

not forgetting the rest. those who smsed me. those who called. those who wished through friendster and my blog. i am deeply amazed by the number who did. i didnt realise i have so many friends! haha! thanks all. i really REALLY appreciate it.

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to think ive always thought being 21 is the last best age one would have.

turning 22 seemed to be the best thing that has ever happened to me.
and it was all because of you all.

thanks for the amazing day. =)

get full pics here.

2007-06-17T10:09:00.000+08:00

there is something psychologically or perhaps mentally wrong with the managers at work. they all mark me for just one obnoxious reason and eventually, every single thing that i do goes wrong. i am pretty sure of the solution to this problem.

to get a new job.
the protracted struggle i am still engaged in.

coming upon many vacancies doesnt help. either i am not interested or i am not qualified. and it always goes either way. job hunting is freaking annoying. that i got stuck with my very first one.

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i just came across an interesting one minutes ago.

DIGITAL BUSINESS EXEC @ SONY BMG MUSIC

oh come on. be honest. wouldnt you just grin the moment you read that company name there? haha.

and yes. exactly what i did. went to check out the details of the job. to market, to communicate, to service. to manage, to initiate and to coordinate. those business terms are soo typical and trite that my grin and interest got brushed off that instant.

yes, im fussy. so what?

nothwest is already a mistake.
i am NOT creating another.

2007-06-15T15:28:00.000+08:00

home alone.

lazing around with 24hrs of internet. this is wat happens whenever i have the whole house to myself. i get pampered to whatever there is in the house.

mummy is out of town with the boys. matk is having their shoot for ahlifiqir's new videoclip. father' s working. and im gonna be totally alone only til later when he comes back. woohoo~!

bangkok trip was great. and with the right people tagging along, the trip is just an absolute success. a shopper's paradise. plan to go there again. anyone? heh.

learnt something about the thais.
their customer service.

one word.
sucks.

they dont even bother about us. and if you are lucky enough, you might come across one who may be nice enough to give you a faint smile.

only after the visit, i began to appreciate the services in singapore. no matter how fake a smile may seem to you, at least it's a SMILE. when you get to bangkok, no thank-yous. no sorries. only just-a-moments. and thats the only phrase of courtesy they have there i guess.

and hence i shall have to applaud the sia crew for their great service. the pleasant smiles. the attention. the service quality. i simply lurvee them.

anyway. observation has got the better of me.
people. and these three categories.

humble.
arrogant.
arrogant, pretending to be humble but to no avail.

humbleness is a quality marked by meekness or modesty in behaviour, attitude or spirit. someone deemed humble would mean that the person isnt arrogant or prideful of whatever he has or has attained, be it good or bad.

arrogance is a quality marked by a feeling or assumption of one's superiority towards others, and hence displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.

if you are the type who displays a sense of self-worth but try to act modest at the same time, then you fall in the third. but then again, if you are good at acting humble, then people wont be able to see thru and hence you will fall into the first category. only failures fall into this.

its really funny how some people try too hard to hide that arrogance. but then they forget. that trying too hard may leak the secret out.

you feel that you are smart. you feel that you are worthy. you feel that you are the best. but thats when others would start looking and wondering if you are really THAT good. people would start having high expections of you and you might subconsciously disappoint them.

if you are really something, theres no need to tell. people have eyes. people can see. people can judge on their own.

so.

dont tell me that unrealistic dream of yours.
get there, and show me.

dont tell me those non-convincing tales.
show me, and prove it.

stop bragging. you dont have to.
if you're really THAT good, it will get to me.

please. show me some mercy.
and stop burning my ears.

thank you.

2007-06-09T12:29:00.000+08:00

im very upset and disappointed.

had you been upset about something, tell me. had you not been happy about anything, talk to me. had you had a problem with me, confront me.

and im pretty sad you didnt.

you said we went around with wild assumptions. didnt you? you felt we took advantage of you driving us around here and there, like a chauffeur. had you felt that way, you could have told us.

kaklin, we knew you longer than we knew sif or even longer than sif did know you. we were very good friends. had we ever taken advantage of you or your car? i dont think so. but if you felt like we did, we are sorry. we never intended to. despite being really good friends in such a short period of time, we thought you have understood us.

pardon us for thinking that way. we didnt know the lifts you gave would create a problem. had we known, we would have not taken any.

the friendship had never been because of your car or the lifts you gave, and it will never be. its really a sad wonder why you would ever think that way. i thought the "sistership" was clear enough for us all to understand and enjoy each other's company. i never thought you would judge us in a different way. we thought you understood but sadly, you didnt.

there were only two sisters i really loved having. kaknura and YOU.

i respected you. made you a role model. listened to your every advice. i went around others, proud to share how much my sisters cared for and took care of me.

but then. the latter sister thinks a different way.

maybe thats why we are off your charts now. and that newbie was who we blamed. as it was only when she appeared in the picture that this happened. sorry we had to think that way. your pretty wild assumption created ours. you have totally wronged us.

sorry if what happened had been a burden to you. no fret. we will put a stop to this. thank god you called earlier sif. and i hope we've settled this matter.

though it is, it will never mend that wound you created. because for sure, we NEVER took advantage of you.

and NEVER did we INTEND to.

2007-06-07T15:11:00.000+08:00

omg. am so addicted to this.

highly not recommended for those who does not give a damn to pure classical (as in orchestra) music. haha.

and syazlin. i highly recommend it to you!
if you still listen to those kinda music that is. lol.

and ouh. love this too.

listen to the first one till its middle. you'll then hear the "gatsby" song. haha. and my all time oldies favourite "september". its so damn catchy lar! very discotheque. i loike~! heh. and the overture. a grand and proud piece by my favourite composer, james barnes. and i have yet to find romanza. its been months! can someone please help? heheh.

and ouh. i lurrvee tokyo kosei. the way they play music. damn flawless. aargh. this is one dream i have not achieved and might not be able to. to play in a huge orchestra! urgh. and of course the unachievable dream. to part of tokyo kosei wind. yeah right~. hahah.

nah. im very realistic in making dreams okay. i dont dream for the OVER-impossible. *winks*

2007-06-05T10:37:00.000+08:00

done the comparisons and northwest obviously won by a number of criteria. guess i have the answer already but shall just wait til i read the package singtel has for me.

whatever i decide shall be made solely by me, and not by the influence of anyone. and so i shall make my own decision. thank you.

couldnt sleep last night and im still awake now. popped in suniton and now my eyes are super heavy. will be gone anytime soon now. gawdd.

went for body combat yesterday. super tiring. tried to escape halfway thru the class and ashan, being the real smartASS she always is, pulled me back in. and the instructor then had her whole attention on us. ouh gawd. i hate that.

and damn. i didnt make it for willy's class. he grooved to some number by craig david.
urgh. serve me right.

poor uncle did not make it thru for livethedream. damn the judges. i guess they must have totally been judging for the looks.

whatever.

2007-06-04T03:17:00.000+08:00

its been a long week. pampered myself enough with two weeks tuition-less. and now i'll be back with it.

ouh.
how i just dread tutoring.

fri was kaknura's official last day. sposed to bring her out for a sumptuous dinner on sat but due to some disruptions, we settled down for fish n co instead. great meal. great get-together. got her a lovely watch and a great big card.

ouh~. i simply lurve huge cards.

everything went, though not as planned, wonderful. and i shall definitely cherish that catching up session.

anyway. been observing. it all makes sense now. what has been called a wild assumption isnt anymore an assumption.

the friendship glue has worn off. a truth which was never anticipated but has got be accepted. no more avid hellos, heartfelt how-are-yous, alluring gathering invitations or even reluctant goodbyes. everything has turned cold, but its okay.

what happened has happened anyway.

lets just treasure those happy memories we had and make sure we dont further break apart.

to my most loved kaknura who has left us for good...

thanks for everything kak. not only had you been a colleague, but also a true friend, a real sister and a great listener. i have always loved the way you took care of this sister of yours like your very own.

we used to always quarrel and go against each other whenever we worked together. however, do know that nothing will ever change the fact that you are one of my most loved sister despite this short period of time.

i will never forget all that you had done for me. you had always been there whether or not i needed you. and you will always have a special place in my heart.

i hope this friendship would last for eternity. will never ever forget you kaknura. thanks for being there... love ya sooo much~!!!

2007-06-01T09:53:00.000+08:00

i have been offered the job.

urgh. contemplating whether or not i should switch to singtel. am super confused. and i hate that feeling.

singtel is offering me few bucks lower than my current basic pay. plus incentives and some other bonuses given. guess theres really good benefits. but my mind just cant think.

the lady was explaining to me the offer package over the phone and i wasnt paying attention. i was too overwhelmed by the fact that i got the job. my mind was off-focus. feels just like those days when i was so braindead about what course to take up in poly. or even which area i wanted to major in.

think i need major help in decision-making.

nwa celebrated a new day today. swear i dont know what its all about. all i knew is we had a buffet of breakfast after work, a mug, some stock thingy and we got confirmed seats anyway in asia (japan/seoul) or hawaii. woohoo~! dang. the last is like the bestest thing ever. i can bring a companion.

anyone? HAHA.

anyways. chatted with a long lost net friend yesterday. knew him since i was 17 and til now we are still in contact. the best thing is that we never met. isnt that the most thrilling thing ever? lol.

we grew rather close despite the fact being virtual friends. like an older brother who was always there to listen, he had always been one of those who gives me the best advices ever. fthough just over the phone. hes really like a best friend.

he surprised me with his wedding plans yesterday and i am so dead happy for him. and this is the first time im so excited to attend a wedding invitation. wahaha. im meeting my net friend at his wedding. how nice. lol.

anyway thanks to yuana who got me all excited about taking up some multimedia course somewhere. and im giving it some deep thought. not again, i know. i need to really think carefully before i make any stupid decisions.

ouh god ouh god. help me think. make my mind stronger.
if not forever, just today will do. heh.

2007-05-29T16:30:00.000+08:00

woke up super late today and i missed my interview! goddamn hell. but thanks to nissa and kaknura. they encouraged me to call singtel and guess what? im given a second chance tmw! okay wish me luck people. i'd better go tmw. i must!

i love going into my blog ever since i changed the song to "all because of you". haha. thanks to willy. kwangkwang.

anyways. i had nothing better to do that i tried creating this. see if you know me that well. hee.

Create your own Friend Test here

2007-05-29T05:00:00.000+08:00

cant seem to sleep and im so gonna be dead tmw. i have a second interview with singtel at serangoon in the morning. man. i hate distance and early mornings. why cant they just stay at singpost?

went for the hiphop class at cali yesterday. though i may not have all the steps right, i love it. the dance, the fun, the laughters and the dance instructor. haha. hes quite cute with that rather nicely built bod, plus that very my-favourite-sporty-and-laidback dressing style, added with his superb moves. i cant stop getting over him the whole day yesterday. lol. hes just. WOW. haha.

matair cina aku k girls. ouh gawd. lol.

ouh yes. and the best thing is we danced to neyo's all because of you. nothing can ever be more perfect. one of the best song ever. okay inah. i know.

okayokay. better stop everything now. i gotta go sleep. or im so gonna screw myself up at the interview tmw.

ouh gosh. everytime i listen to "all because of you", im reminded of willy. help~! lol.

okay. i's better shuddup for now..

want to but i cant help it..
i love the way it feels..

and then it's all because of you..

lol.

2007-05-28T16:28:00.000+08:00

rewarded myself with a long good sleep after that bloody long day. thanks to that 2hr nap after work. at least it charged me up for the 14hrs of activities. ouh gosh.

met up with the family at my baby cousin's birthday. they are getting sooo cute! i mean the babies. haha. and yeah. i cant wait for them to start talking. oooh. confirm cute.

anyways.

jydc (featuring shazran) were champions for the tampines idol, group category yesterday. and kudos to my bros for their outstanding solo performances. i guess its just luck that shah didnt get to bring anything home as shazran got 2nd. congrats bro!

zai, congrats too! though i still cant get over the fact that old getai singer beat zai with her old getai song. kauz. its so obvious that the management was afraid to give the top champion prizes to dancers. then they shouldnt have made it a talent competition. what the~!

i wonder. if the social circle is gonna turn bad. it seems like it. funny thing is, the same thing is felt within some other. i dunno whats happening but i shall not make any wild assumptions. but still, what happened has happened and what is felt has been felt. and so i guess all that matters now is that cliche go-with-the-flow thing.

dunno why but im sooo into that "let's groove tonight" song by earth, wind and fire. its super groovy i feel like dancing everytime i listen to it. oh my.

so people.
let's groove tonight~!

2007-05-26T20:54:00.000+08:00

yey. ive moved.
finally.

thanks sal for helping me come up with this.
and to the rest who helped me decide. lol.
big deal eh?? :)

went for an interview recently. think i did okay but i was stupid not to accept their retail consultant post. i am interested but i couldnt decide.

ouh god. i badly want that position now. lol.

weight loss has been pretty slow.
blame it on myself.

i really cant seem to control my food intake. im bad at food control. and i have finally consulted the expert all over again. i swear i cant tell the difference between tropical and non tropical fruits. and now i have to say goodbye to all my favourites. watermelons. honeydew. papaya. ouh gosh.

tomorrow's the big day. tampines idol. hopefully my brothers and zai would clinch at least top 3. and aizad! i cant wait to get that cute baby cousin of mine. oooh~!

ouh. i feel like there's something wrong with the social life for now. maybe im just paranoid but im just not sure. i shall just wait and see what's gonna happen.

anyway wishing good luck to the 3 brothers for their idol comp tmw!
zaihar, shazran and shahiran.
u all will sure rawk the stage lah! ;)

til then...
bangkok!
im coming~!

2007-05-21T23:23:00.000+08:00

seems like im getting less and less of a gym-holic but still with that much energy to go. just a slight lack of enthusiasm. doesnt matter. the important thing is that i keep to go every week whenever i can. i must. oh gosh. lol.

am so looking forward to the sp training this sat yanti told me abt. but to think i have to face some unwanted wastes. i dont feel like doing it at all. ouh god. help me make a wise decision. heh.

anyway. dancing is fun! woohoo. haha.

guess i am gonna change my blog url soon. this present one is so.. nonsense. lol. and to think i have been using it for years. since i was in secondary school. wait til i found a suitable blogskin.

gosh. im turning double 2 soon.

its time. heh.

2007-05-17T12:02:00.000+08:00

im soooo in love with nidji! and i especially love this song the best. heeee.

okay i finally bought one. though i was kinda the really attracted to the incomparable specs of one of the acer laptops, i guess im happy with my present purchase. true enough, many agreed that acer is not a good brand. it spoils rather frequently and the customer service is BAD. so yey. im pretty excited to install some relevant programmes. heh.

yes. i am. still. kemaruk. so just let me be. lol.

i love my friends! lol.
so random.

hari: hahah... hey.. that class was super fun lah. we should go again. lol. and yeah yeah. charity. sweet charity kan aku. lol. but tu sumer tak penting. yg penting, platinum. haha.

aim: oklah aim... enjoy ur age ok! ;P

dzaf: eh woman! i heard about it! how was it? eh lain kali jgn luper aku lah.. walaoweih..

sal: sudoku? no prob!!! lol.

2007-05-15T14:24:00.000+08:00

had such a superb workout last night that i woke up feeling damn bloody fresh today. went for their 'lyrical dance' lesson. lol. it was gerek but critically confusing. waking up today was definitely an unforgettable feeling. heh.

im rather happy today. finally gathered my courage to ask my aunty if she could help me with my purchase at best denki. her favourable response was such a surprise. and so i will be getting a lappie by this month. woohoo! i have been waiting a lifetime for this! yey! no more lagging system.

seems that i've been bringing in people to cali and so i requested a free upgrade to platinum. haha. i mean i have been 'making profits' for the company and it is just fair that i get 'my share'. platinum is so gonna help me a million. the staff at raffles had been noticing my presence and i hate it. if im offered platinum, i would go everyday to diff branches and noone would notice. isnt that great! lol.

and so im still eagerly waiting for their reply. in turn, i even said i shall not bring in anymore until they upgrade me. and yes. thats a threat. as if i have anymore to bring in. lol. dah pandai sak aku.

anyway. happy mother's day mummy! though i may have been rebellious (which many couldnt see), im still not as rebellious as some, you know mom? hehe. watever it is, i love you more than anything else in the world. i swear! and same wishes to all other mums! you're all the greatest being ever created in anyone's life!

and ouh. happy belated 17th bdae to kanak-kanak strawberry, aim! kwangkwang. omg. yes im jealous. but whatever. i've lived that age already. :P

and ouh. dearest kak nura is leaving us. she got a job at starhub! dammit. i wanted that. kak, im soo gonna miss you. i wont have anyone to argue against. whatever it is, arguments have got us closer and i love you lah kak! thanks for taking care of me all this while. :) eh once you can start recommending, please remember me eh. heheh.

everyone's leaving. and im still waiting for my turn.

2007-05-07T11:06:00.000+08:00

ouh no. im back to that horoscope fever again. been playing horoscope guessing games with colleagues and friends. lol. its fun really. somehow i feel like a psychic sometimes. haha.

had a super long day yesterday. went to watch the tampines idol auditions. after which i took a long ride in the cab driven by this stupid lady driver. i told her 'malacca street, raffles place' and she brought me to raffles city, city hall. i said again raffles place mrt and she went tanjong pagar. god dammit. she'd better retire. i mean if she doesnt know where, she could have said it. and she bought me all around the city before finally stopping me somewhere futher from my destination. i could have just taken the train.

finally met up with the trio. dzaf, hudz n fad. and they took up the 6weeks trial! woohoo! yey. i love it. its even more motivating to know u can go workout with your very own people. i can hardly wait. hee.

den sp trng. woohoo! shiook. with the girls and the newbies and the super fun new coach. love it. playing it after 3 - 4 months of no floorball has brought up my spirits by a notch. and im gonna try join them a lil more often. but every week i shall just pray not to see people i dont wish to see.

shan. yellow in malay is 'kuning'. and 'limau' is lemon. lol.
and sal. next week. we'll dance again. haha.

by the time i finally reached pasir ris to give tuition, my system was almost off. had to take cab home, watch 3min of ugly betty before i finally shut off. the day went great. and i like it.

anyways, happy belated papa n wilmo! ;)

2007-04-30T12:52:00.000+08:00

had a terrible sleepless day yesterday. went straight to workout after work in the morning. committing my sleepy and mentally+physically tired self with bodycombat is definitely impossible. i shall never try that again.

i was only presented with last minute tickets to the dancefloor finals, where i went with tonnes of weight on my eyelids - except for some 5min when i was lighted up by vas's direct sheepish smile, which lagged me for awhile before wishing him good luck. his smile was so seducing, i almost fainted. HAHA. damn cute la. oh my.

and after that i practically slept for several minutes throughout the show. the noise and cheers around F4 supporters cannot stop me.

the result was rather expected. am honestly glad VnP took the glory home. they deserve it. and ouh. it must be the smile. lol.

my tireness has become a phenomenon and i hope to charge my energy up before i go braindead. someone. please help.

2007-04-28T01:39:00.000+08:00

i seem to have turned into some exercise freak of late. im even willing to lessen my sleeping hours just to get to the gym. all thanks to that ageing pc at home, lagging so much that i lost the interest.

i am so addicted. it sure is a good investment for me, like zwee said. except for the fact that its really hard for me to get a companion to go with. one is busy, one is lazy and another full of excuses not to go. and ouh. the fact that the people there seem to have notice my presence almost everyday makes me rather embarrassed to go there on my own. but i shall try not to let these hinder me from doing what i want to do.

that seems to be the life now.
and i hope things will get better as age comes closer to a double two.

it hasnt. really.

2007-04-23T16:27:00.000+08:00

gawd. had never slept so much before and im really suprised with the amount of sleep i had today. god knows.

does anyone have any idea how to deal with people who doesnt seem to have a mind of their own? especially when the person seem to be around you almost all the time. though most of the time it doesnt affect me, i seem to be very much annoyed by the fact that these people, who are always not interested in the first place, later act like they know everything upon knowing the rest of the social circle are interested in whatever i proposed to them at the later point of time.

these people may not know it but as it all carries on, it becomes more and more obvious. in time, impatient characters like me shall have nothing else to do other than complain as we get more and more irritated and annoyed by them. i have no absolute control over the matter and i shall leave it at rest. but i shall not hesitate to react as to what i think i ought to.

anyway kaklin n sifah, welcome to the club! and im eagerly waiting for yuana n inah to join us to. til then, we can start working towards a healthier lifestyle together. hurray! =)

auntie lin n mummy. will be waiting for you both to join in too! haha.

2007-04-16T14:47:00.000+08:00

i love yesterday's extreme makeover: home edition. it was for a family of 4-parents who couldnt speak, and a blind younger son, leaving the elder son the only normal being in the family. stefan (the elder son) gave up his dream of going to college as he was concerned of the safety of his family. the team sent them for a holiday and renovated their house, full of security devices. due to stefan's undying love and contribution to the family, the team presented him with a 50k scholarship for him to study in college. the series yesterday deeply touched me, i almost cried. everyone else in the show yesterday did.

anyway, spent my yesterday at stylesfrombeyond's workshop bukit timah cc. not that i planned to go there. mum said gladys had something to discuss. well mum is always up to something when she wants me to go for nothing. i ended up joining the rest of the participants learning a little something from the guys. it was fun, despite the fact that they taught us steps i could hardly do. breakdancing. okay now i know the basics. wahaha.

p/s: knowing does not mean can do. lol.

fun fun. and im going for a different class today. i'd better enjoy myself to the maximum. :)

2007-04-13T09:55:00.000+08:00

i finally have my own company email. yey! its funny that my team only got it now after working for almost a year now despite being the pioneer batch. and the best thing is the few batches after us has gotten it few weeks after they joined in. and i definitely love the fact that communicating has been made much easier now. especially when it comes to internal gossiping. lol.

im beginning to turn more disciplined towards my sleeping time but not yet punctuality which has always been the worst habit of mine that the people around me hate. i hope to distribute my hours more wisely now that im officially a member of some fitness centre which i supposedly ought make full use of. and i hope this serious investment towards having a healthier body will result to something rather satisfying. its all in the mind.

anyway im super in love with this song sang by my darling justin timberlake. check it out.

Never Again
by Justin Timberlake

Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
Girl, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize

You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me, again

No, no, no, no, no, no

Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it

Wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it's too late, it's over now

2007-04-08T15:50:00.000+08:00

the internet was down and my blog is collecting dust. hah. many have happened. and i have forgotten what they are. lol.

sfb is out of danceflr. to think their geisha performance was definitely their best! not a surprise. elimination of bfc proved how disappointing singaporeans are in voting. bet e-squared is gonna be top 5. or maybe even top 3. urgh. fantastic 4 is so the group to be saved.

april. my month of spending. have spent more than half this month's income. just hope i can manage with what im left with.

anyways. for early april babies zaihar (2nd) , zura (6th) n syazlin (8th), happy birthday! =)

im physically getting worse. gawdd. pants going "stop suffocating me and get a new pair before i burst". shirts going "theres nothing more i can do with that overly excess fats". and myself reaching that 3 digit number should i not be wary. and i blame nothing and no one else but me. what the hell is wrong with me?!

one word for myself.

hopeless.

AWiN: wan! lama tak nampak... acam kau! font kecik biar kau give up baca entry aku. heh.

dzaf: heh. wait till u hear my story. short n sweet. hee.

aim: no problem. kecik2 konon nak kawin. duit parents masih kasi. :P

yanti: woit! laughing matter per girl? huh! :P

fad: things tak okay pun terpaksa di-okaykan. heh.

Wilda: yeah sad. and why dun u go their blog and ask? :) click on their link above. who're u btw? hehe.

sasha: harloooo...

2007-03-25T11:38:00.000+08:00

last week's dancefloor result was a huge disappointment. the bottom 3, i believe were few of the good ones. and to think the worst didnt even fall into the bottom 3 category. its statistically proven now that our people are ignorant of the term - wise vote.

bfc is out. one of my personal fav. hoping sfb and f4 can stay in longer. and vasnpris! gawd! they are the love. the best performer of last week! they gave me the thrills sey. and the feel of love. lol.

anyway i got my first warning letter. for conduct. over that misunderstanding. wateverla. im lazy to argue with them and am just waiting for the right time to leave.

soon.

2007-03-21T08:58:00.000+08:00

i have finally learnt how the management can get really sucky that it totally kills that respect u have. its just fair that my asst manager has to bring me over to the performance manager just because i wouldnt change my seat as directed. i was showing some kinda disrespect and blablabla.

honestly, i SHALL NOT take that "punishment" as i believe i DO NOT deserve it. i confessed my utmost respect for my current manager. however she has overlooked that whole stupid situation and made unjust decision towards me alone and not the rest. yes, the rest could have said something to help but since they chose to keep mum about it, i shall stand up on my own.

lets just say i had a bad and rebellious day at work. urgh.

going dancefloor tonight. had a messy night with my parents yesterday. haha. we tried making a little something for stylesfrombeyond after last week's disappoiment. sigh. had something else in mind but not enuf preparations. so next time jerlah. lol. wish them luck!!!

anyways just got know khai has resigned from nwa. what the! i was supposed to leave him there but he left me there intead. lol. nvm.

2007-03-15T01:13:00.000+08:00

so damn excited to go for training tmw. gawwdd. im so not gonna be able to run but who cares. all i know is i get myself to the sport all over again. yeay!

dad is really cute. mom told him to look out for omarion's vcds if he were to walk around hmv. confirmed the name before he went to look for it. the next day (im not sure if he did go and search for it) before he went out, he confirmed the name with mom again. and he asked if the name is omar rion. as in, omar bin rion? HAHA! gawd. he made me laugh so hard.

went dancefloor recording yesterday. live is definitely better than the telly. the dances create such great retro atmosphere. fantastic four was cute with their afro hair especially that ewan with his expressions. breakforce crew had great choreography. sfb wasnt bad too. zai and his hair was definitely appealling. and not to forget phiz looking like the legend p.ramlee. lol. cute.

am still trying to get my body system adapted to the new shift. having to sleep 9am and waking up at noon seems so unpretty. but the pay is worth. definitely.

its easy for me to tell others "theres always a first time". but i definitely cannot bring myself to start doing something which was never part of my schedule. and i guess persistence will only result to constant turn-downs which create nothing less than a major disappointment. i need time. loads of it. im somehow new to the world.

anyone knows the shortest way to get to paya lebar singpost from republic poly?

2007-03-11T23:42:00.000+08:00

"Ignore any pressure you're feeling (especially if it's coming from yourself). Let any relevant parties know you're not quite ready to make a move, but you will be soon. Then go somewhere peaceful to think. "

okay theres loads going through my mind that has got me thinking. however i shall stay calm about it. anyways conman replied my mail after i threatened to get western union to investigate this matter. and should he not return my money, i shall get him nabbed. damn he.

seems luck has been on my side for quite alot this time. perhaps not working life but social. isnt it good. well lets just hope for the best. :)

anyway....

Happy Birthday
to my northwest walking bible,
Yuana!!!
may you have a wonderful birthday this year, you smartass!
you definitely rawk my shorts!
love you!

2007-03-10T16:21:00.000+08:00

been conned 230sgd to some online indonesian seller. bloody hell. and all i thought was that this "store" definitely is selling with the cheapest prices around. and yeah. goodbye money.

am still trying to act cool and get back my money by cheating him back. oh gawd. wish me luck people. do be wary of soundline_store in yahoo auctions. its not even a store. its a conman, dammit.

anyways im not working this coming monday. oh sigh. so fad? promise? haha. im working like 10.30pm -7.30am. weird hours? yes! if only i had gotten the friday sat off, that would be the best shift of my life. i swear. lol. yuana diam ar. lol.

im gonna miss so many people! damn damn.

2007-03-09T04:03:00.000+08:00

its 4.05am and im still at work. gawd im dying. pinnacle airlines has lost hundreds of pilots, causing us to lose so much of our stupid time rebooking passengers on to other flights. get what i mean? never mind. lol.

shift results out. i swear its like waiting for o level results. and im so not happy with mine. didnt get my first choice of midnight shift with fri sat off. instead i get sun mon as my off days. what the hell siak. i cant spend my saturdays with my family or friends! ok i know. i should be contented kan kaknura? and i do feel super upset for my dearest kak nura and kaklin. i cant see you guys at work seh! and i so gonna miss working with the two sisters who had always been looking out for me. :(

looking on the brighter side, im can start going for trainings! gosh. im so gonna train like mad now. anyway mummy bought me a puma jacket! thanks so much mum. yes its too big but i love it! thank you!

anyway. was bored at work and so i spent some time researching and came across so many fabulous songs! woohoo!

excuse me for this random entry. personal achievement sak. haha.

2007-03-04T22:21:00.000+08:00

had a super hectic weekend which definitely got myself systematically down.

the 10pm-7am shift felt rather weird. imagine yourself coming to work as though it was still early, end work the next morning, get to sleep and wakes up the same day. honestly, its crazy. i lost track of what day i was in!

woke up 4pm on friday, relaxed and went for work. headed straight from work to junyuan primary to catch the bus to united square for the danceworks primary school category. 24hours of no sleep. gawd! from the second level, i looked down to the atrium and fell asleep, seated on the floor. its so not pretty. lol.

side note: congrats boys on getting 3rd position! and fullest respect to their dance instructor zai. definitely one with talent, style and originality.

and that was the reason i got myself sick, bumping into sal and mal after the doctor's visit, looking haggard and only-god-knows. hah.

anyways. ive been rather engrossed in searching for electronic notebooks. dont ask me why. and you'll be surprised to find some as cheap as 700usd (approx 1100sgd) for a newly introduced laptop. hell. and im so looking at this and this. can someone help?

and sal. pinjam lagu. aku suke! hehe.

2007-02-27T02:24:00.000+08:00

it sucks when you have an obligation to work extra hours without being paid. here i am waiting the clock to strike 4.30 before i can finally go home and enjoy friends on channel 5.

my weekend went superb. chingay was full of fun, laughter and embarassment. though i wasnt a performer, i felt like one of them, running along the road with the float as i jubilantly shouted and waved to the crowd like some star. tumpang glamour la katakan. kwangkwang.

then came the embarassing moment. at one of the point where the dancers perform, vanessa saved herself by dancing along with them. well she learnt some steps before the parade started, which i refused. and so i was the only one not doing it right. things got worse when i realised the d2k guys were right under our nose! i clapped and moved to the song pretending not to see them. i had no escape later when one of those said hi. gawd. lol.

met zwee on sunday. thought i would surprise her with my short hair. but she surprised me with the same thing. she has it even shorter! it must be the haircut month. the workplace already has about 10 new hairdo.

epic movie was funny but lame. didnt manage to watch norbit. didnt even know its nc-16 and my bros are underaged. phototaking session was the best of all. wait till i upload some of it. zwee. shazran. shahiran. and me. i didnt know there was a photogenic mood that day. haha.

and so good things dont last. so here i am, back to being tortured with flight cancellations due to stupid reasons. can you imagine a flight being cancelled just because pilot needs a rest? then you have to go through the trouble explaining to the customers. hah.

what a joke.

2007-02-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

gawd. i have a new addiction now.

frozen grapes. tsktsk.

honestly. you should try it. its heaven. lol. and thats what i have been indulging myself into ever since desmond introduced that innovation to us. haha. i got a sudden craze over it and here i am with frozen seedless white grape at my workspace. i love it.

anyways. i cut my hair. AGAIN. ok maybe it looks lesser like dumb n dumber. but it still looks ugly on me. guess im not used to it. and so are the people around me. sigh. i just have to try out ways to style my hair a little so that i'll look more on the pleasant side. haha. the week's definitely a haircut week for nwa, having yuana's gorgeous new hairstyle as the finale. jealous sak.

and so. chingay at 7.30pm later. gawd. i wonder how it'd be like later with the crowd at orchard as i go along with the floats and performers. excited to watch floorball match later with the girls. first, i miss them. but most important is i miss floorball! i think im gonna be alien to the game now. gawd.

i cant wait for the shift to change and i swear im so gonna commit myself to it. lol.

2007-02-22T01:40:00.000+08:00

i did one of the most stupid thing today.

went to the gym and had a shower there before work. after which i got damn irritated with the damaged ends of my hair and decided to have a haircut right away. and so off we went to echouse. you know. that $10 10min shop.

and so. there i was trying to be independent and make full use of the ten buck i had to fork out. told the hairdresser to get rid of my dry ends without making my hair short. i then turned into some irritating, demanding customer. twice i wasnt happy with the results. and so she finally cut all of the dry ends. and i now only have one third of my hair left. and i definitely look like one of the characters from dumb and dumber. lol.

gosh. im so going to cut my hair again tmw. kak nura, u better come.

2007-02-20T21:53:00.000+08:00

sometimes i sit at home and wonder how it'd be
if he had loved me, truly loved me
yes i learnt awhile ago that kind of thing, it never happens for me

and so i go around and just pretend love is not for me
i play the circus clown around my friends
make them laugh and they wont see
that you never let them see you sweat
dont want them to think the pain runs deep
lord knows its killing me

so i put on my make up, put a smile on my face
and if anyone asks me, everything is okay
im laughing coz' no one knows the joke is on me
coz im dying inside with my pride and a smile on my face

sometimes I sit at home by the phone
hoping he might call me but he dont call me
but then I realize dreams come true arent for girls like me, not like me

and so I go around with my head up like it aint no thing
and when the boys around with all my friends, im into other things
cuz you never let them see you sweat
dont want them to think the pain runs deep
lord knows its killing me

its not easy (thing to do)
sometimes it's hard to (face the truth)
its not the life that i would choose
but what else can i do if he dont love me no
if he dont want me
im not about to sit around let myself go

2007-02-19T23:15:00.000+08:00

gawd. this is so gonna be belated. blame it on my lazy-to-blog-about-anything syndrome.

happy belated 22nd zwee! dang. arent we old? and damn you for that engagement message. you are old enough to get engaged. and so of course i believed! haha. got over-excited for nothing. you terrible terrible you.

thanks for being one of the most wonderful friend one could ask for. 12 years of friendship and i super love you to bits lah!

2007-02-13T13:50:00.000+08:00

its funny to be able to find out how much some people really cares. just by sending a stupid joke.

its sweet really. i said im going to oklahoma to further my studies on 29feb. fyi. not a leap year this year. some were alert enough to get it. some wanted to send me to the airport. some called me with heartbreaking voices. omg. i feel sooo bad.

but at least i know how much you all loved me. HAHA! i love you all too larhs. :)

anyways been doing much thinking these days. about what i wanna further my studies in. (and this time its for real) many encouraged. and i feel stronger in my decision now. thank you sooo much people. you know who you are.

but trouble trouble. diff school offers diff study. as in the modules. and im thinking alot about those. seems hard to find one in media communications.i saw loads in comm. mass comms. but not media. and i can only afford part time study. i need media!

should any of you know of anywhere, pls pls tell me. thanks.

2007-02-10T18:14:00.000+08:00

3 to 4 years of blogging.

stressgal.

i MUST change that name. sooon. i simply hate it! lol.

was also thinking of going private. but then again.

whats there to be private about?

and so.
what shall i change the url to?

suggestions. anyone?

2007-02-09T16:03:00.000+08:00

Happy 21st Birthday Faddy!

may all ur wishes come true.
(ok common. tak tahu ape lagi nak cakaplah!. lol.)

anyways may the 21st year be a better one for you!
lu rawk ar babe.
heheh.

2007-02-07T13:33:00.000+08:00

dancefloor starts today and dammit. i cant watch. the bros got their chingay parade photoshoot. hoping so much they will make it in time to record it for me. i dont wanna miss it!

anyways. can someone tell me where SAT stands now? you know. the one that used to be an important thing for you to apply for degrees, then just a bonus and the last thing i heard is not a necessity anymore. a friend is going to sit for it and i dont know if i should try for that too. i mean if its not of relevance anymore then i dont see why i would want to waste money and time. however, if it is beneficial then im going to take my chance.

been thinking alot about furthering studies before the brain turns rusty. but somehow im facing a big problem with courses. made up my mind. business is out. thinking back, i should have had medical as my first choice. if only i was not so pessimistic about myself. sigh. or maybe i should have just gone for the design course i was offered. ouh well.

regretting every bit of it.

but its all too late now. got my diploma in business which im so not proud of. urgh. wishing im 17 again, making my choice of courses.

fat hope.
took a tremendous wrong step.
and theres no turning back.

ouh gawd.

2007-02-04T22:07:00.000+08:00

spent a whole night searching for simple skins for the blog til i finally gave up. settling for this. booooolehlahhhhhhhhh.

niways. visited thedancefloor webbie. nothing much to see yet except for profiles for the top 32. very much reminds me of boogy boyz. laughed my heads off during the part when one of them actually tried to "flip". extreme embarassment sey. lol. for heavens sake. how on earth did they even get to the top 60! lol.

cant wait for change of shift. am so looking forward to trainings. after-work meet-ups. but definitely not the morning rise. better get my system prepared.

2007-01-30T14:48:00.000+08:00

find it really nice to be some kinda reunited in some small kinda way. did not regret going to the party at all. a little too late but what the hell. fahd, huda, wani and all the rest there. all more than happy to see all the darlings.

and damn. shud have pics taken with the darlings from youth too. and my all time favourite hazirah too. kauz.

happy belated 22nd bdae, ashan!

and happy advanced 24th bdae, zai! (you're OLD!) lol.

wish u a great great future ahead.
and may you be happier this age. heh.

sorry i never spare sometime for you all but promise you.
we'll hang out someday okay.

and whatever it is, and come what may,

i still love you both to bits!

2007-01-28T02:50:00.000+08:00

had my internet fixed via a 1.5hr conversation with a friendly linksys customer service officer. lol. n thanks to that too. got a new friend. from philippines. and keeping in touch. woohoo. kak lin. da ada ar kak lin. long distance punye. and insya'Allah. tak sleep around. lol. kidding!

anyways. im worried about my job. my future. did something extremely awful that jeopardizes my employment and almost a good friend's too. im sorry girl i ever did that. will never do that again. and ur name shall never be mentioned should anything happen. i promise.

pls people. pray for me. i hope He will be by my side.

another thing. shan, what the hell am i gonna get for u! and hell. i hope i dun see the people i dun wanna see. im going because of u k good fren! be honoured.

2007-01-26T12:32:00.000+08:00

being a leader is not as easy as it is. u have responsibilities and power over the rest.

but no right u have to take the power for granted.

a good leader is receptive. listens to every single member's opinions and ideas. no favouritism. takes each and everyone's liking into consideration, not only his own.

a good leader produces a good product upon using the best of all ideas given by the team. shares credits with the team. does not pinpoint the mistakes team members create. instead highlights and encourages them to polish their weaknesses.

noone is perfect. a good leader understands that. does not criticise team members. accepts each members' flaws. stands up for the team and the members. shows good examples and shares his knowledge with the rest.

with a good leader, comes happy members and hence a good team.

don't seem to qualify for the above criteria?
next better leader please.

2007-01-23T00:59:00.000+08:00

internet is down. giving me all the reason in the world to not be stuck in front of my beloved pc at home. and now im illegally blogging from office. heheh.

neverending news of all time. i must start working out. (yeah ive been saying it like forever) thanks to all good food every weekend. seoul garden. carls junior. seouls garden again. and what next. im gaining like nobody's business! so much encouragement but no determination at all. i dunno how the hell im gonna make it. my determination depends alot on having someone go through it with me. u better get the hint pls zwee. lol.

have not been to any of the league matches. didnt have the heart to. i just dont think i deserve to with no physical trainings at all. guess when i come back, mr amir is so gonna screw me. oh god pls help. tsktsk.

ashan's bdae party this week. but im more of looking forward to pay day. lol. sorry shan.

2007-01-15T15:07:00.000+08:00

many told me. im in the wrong line. schoolmates and now colleagues. all agreed that i should be doing IT.

ewww. seriously. guess its my "patience". and i like buying gadgets but that doesnt make me good in that line. maybe im just at that age where i wanna enjoy getting updated with the latest technology. but hell no. totally not my interest at all. lol.

anyways. miss cousin fit. after the little chat with her yest, realised theres so much for us to catch up on. its just wonderful to have someone you are not so conservative about telling things to. and is always so encouraging towards you.

must meet up soon dearie!

and ouh. u too zwee. miss u lah. im still waiting for our date.

a retired winner.
and you. ongoing loser.

carry on.

2007-01-15T01:25:00.000+08:00

whats this about wearing then not wearing? hah. i was RIGHT. you were not being yourself. you were just doing the exact same thing the other person did in hope to get the same thing in return. thanks for proving me right. woohoo! and dont forget to welcome me. shame shame. haha.

anyway celebrating birthday on the 14th of january are the crazy people - zaki, nissa and shahiran. happy birthday! no wonder you all have the same level of sarcasm and humour. adik, owe u a pressie k. =)

my 17-year-old cousin ditched her fiance. thank god. cant stand that ryan guy. ass-licker cum loser. that girl can definitely find someone much better. im glad shes smart enough not to give in anymore. the reason why i envy most, but not all, aquarius women as much as im not proud of being a cancerian. lol.

another thing. i dont lend anything to anyone unless i really trust or know them well. i believe theres ethics even in borrowing.

someone i hardly know or talk to smsed me at 4am in the morning to borrow some cash.
and the best thing is he made it like its such a small matter.

sorry dude, its a big deal to me. and you've totally destroyed my impression on you.

gawd.

good night world.

remember how the rabbit's wrong moves
brought victory to the tortoise?

thats just how YOUR mistakes
brought the same thing to me.

you lost.

2007-01-13T02:01:00.000+08:00

the dancefloor recording was a blast.

despite the fact that we all got in the wrong timing and had to sit so far up. we got quite a nice view. styles from beyond, sure top ten la.

managed to watch the final recording with fit and d2k. illegally. used our previous ticket to watch that one. heh.

the show is a definite must-watch. and dzaf. perhaps u can get dance inspirations from it. well i did. like bill cahoun said.

phat.
pretty hot and tempting.

and ouh. wong li-lin is soo pretty.
heh. so random.

so hard finding a gentleman.
the experience was enough.
thank you. =)

2007-01-12T15:41:00.000+08:00

am so looking forward to dancefloor.

as if im taking part. hah.

currently overwhelmed with independence. lol. it felt like some kind of achievement when something you are really nervous about is finally over. well.

i got an mc. hee.

2007-01-11T13:12:00.000+08:00

happy bdae mummy!

i know its torturous taking care of me,

but you have been for over 21 years now.

you have been a mummy, a sister and a best friend.

no matter how rebellious i can sometimes be,

i appreciate every single thing that u do for me

and i still love u all the same....

in fact i love u more than anyone else!

thanks for everything mom..

happy birthday once again!

*muackz muackz*

2007-01-10T01:57:00.000+08:00

i dun understand people who try to be someone else just to get the attention from another someone who has the heart for that someone else.

get what i mean? okay never mind. lol.

whatever it is, i believe that u trying to behave like someone else would not last for long as eventually u will be back to ur own self again. and so now u have, havent u? so why bother? is it even worth to change urself for someone like that? what a waste. of life.

anyways my choice of shift timing has killed me by a million. no meet-ups after and before work. no floorball for me. and i cant even join my family to watch dancefloor this thurs and fri. how sickening.

mummy's bdae tmw. i tried to get leave but to no avail. sigh. nissa's and shahiran's bdae on sunday. nissa's settled. but i still have yet to think what to get for that brother of mine. can someone please suggest something?

had a chat with marilyn very early this morning. and i must say i feel slightly better about the whole league thingy now. so guess i'll forgo the match this sunday and see later whether i should try going for the second one. looks like i have to pay for the 50 bucks.

ouh well.

2007-01-09T14:22:00.000+08:00

i lost my specs! urgh.

its somewhere in my room. last wore it before i went out on sunday. but where?!

my right eye kept itching i dunno why. its watery now and im looking at the monitor with lens only on my left one. damn. looks like i gotta go get a new pair. the good thing is i can get a green one. bad is its gonna cost me a bomb considering the degree and all. now im just wondering how the hell am i going to work with blurred vision on one eye.

anyways. am so upset abt the whole league thingy. i wanna play but i cant. i totally dunno what to do now. maybe i should not have opted for the afternoon shift. but the whole world knows i cant make it for mornings. lol. and now im wondering what to do. the first match is this sunday and i am definitely not going.

sigh. i regret not going for the saturday trng. i miss playing fb so much. though im not the "hardcore" type of player, i enjoy myself everytime and it gets me off worries.

please make any trainings this sat. *prays*

2007-01-06T15:44:00.000+08:00

okay thanks for all your suggestions. after much consideration and reseach, we might be settling down for...

FLORIDA!

seems we are all excited to visit their daytona beach. oooh. not as if im much of a beach person but am thrilled all the same. they also have theme parks. and i saw naples. a nice street thing just like those i saw in american movies. it looks kinda nice. gawd. for once, let time tick faster.

yeah. whatever it is, all those shall also depend on whether or not we are all granted our leave. and i hope too that i would be able to save enough by then. heh.

anyways. supposed to have trainings today. well i skipped the morning on. couldnt wake up! got home at 3am and stuck myself in front of the pc til late. and walah! im sooo sorry sal. :S

many made plans with me today and everything's cancelled. kak lin's sick and we had to cancel our johore trip. cancelled my meeting with all the na's. yuana, lina and inah. okay shuddup. im not bubbling u okay! lol. and yes. sorry too for turning down that workshop invitation. i know. its my lost yeah. :)

now, instead of waiting for my club training, i actually made plans to go out with the best friend. gonna do some mini shopping as we share our life, good and bad.

gawd. im skipping training again. they actually registered my name in for the league. was about to call the team manager when i suddenly remembered. she actually called me to say she's just putting my name in and i can actually go for the match whenever i can. not that i cant make it for the matches but i cant make it for trainings. it clashes with my work shift. she totally caught me off guard and i said okay. damn. now what.

im so not gonna embarass myself by playing when i have no trainings at all. i did so last league though i had trainings. so again? no. thank you. lol.

someone. help me with life! im totally out of control! oh god.

2007-01-05T13:37:00.000+08:00

"Don't give up on ever finding the ultimate romantic partner of your dreams, Nur Shazwani, because now is your chance. More than likely, a great deal of talk is spurring you on to take action. Don't be surprised if there is a bit of friction keeping you from jumping into the situation with both feet. Hang in there, however, because once you get deeper below the surface you could find that there is much more to this person than first meets the eye."

true. shouldnt give up. and find. unlike someone. and wait. okay i am too actually. lol.

dead sleepy. but have to get ready for tuition. went pool after work this morning and i got home at 6am. gawd. shall never do that again.

however, it was fun. laughed alot. practically at 3am, there were obviously no one at the pool place besides us. but the best thing of the day was the hilarious answer i learnt from kak zi. and she does it best!

"fuck you!"

"promise?"

lol. til then.

2007-01-04T04:27:00.000+08:00

look at the time. and what the hell am i doing now online?

am feeling rather helpless. am out of ideas of where to go. while waiting for leave approval, we are actually still trying to decide which part of US would be a good place. yuana has vegas in mind. and to prove my hopeless knowledge in geography, i actually had paris in mine. for heaven's sake, paris is in europe. gawd. i just suck at it.

okay, and so i was checking out prices of hotels in vegas. and where else. i dont know! im having a major problem here. can anyone please try and get me excited over any city there. i seem not to be so excited anymore as i dont know where i want to go. all i know is i want to get there. but where?

ideas please. or i might lose my enthusiasm. like anytime. lol.

its really nice to have sisters who care but some just gets worried shit about you not having a relationship, behaving just like those old fashioned moms trying to marry off their single daughters to some men out there they think deserves to be their son-in-law.

for heaven's sake, kak lin. can you have someone much younger than the 4-years-younger-than-my-mom cousin of yours? before anything adds on to her wild ideas, can someone just lend me yourself and pretend to share my world please? lol.

having a significant other is important. and though i dont have any, it doesnt mean im not happy. and though im happy, doesnt mean i dont want to have any. im waiting and if im fated to live life alone, so be it. i can and have lived without it. so what's the problem?

whatever it is, i would rather have someone who loves me than having someone whom i love but doesnt.

life is funny. funny is good.

2007-01-03T14:45:00.000+08:00

bangkok trip on feb has been cancelled. im so upset. was so excited in the first place and thanks to all the bombings and what have you there. urgh. now i have to find the "flowergirl" to cancel my leave.

nevermind. looking on the brightside, more money saved. i wonder if me and the girls' leave for late march will be approved. we planned to fly to US but have not decided which part. and im dead excited about it. like bigtime. so wish me luck!

anyway. am so so proud of myself. i managed to shove everything unimportant out of my care. not totally but at least i did. like finally. and im living it good. not good. but awesome. boyz to men does help after all. im glad, so so glad.

note to zwee: girl! so freaking hard to get you. your hp's off. you're not home. and i thought we made an appointment today at cali? gawd. i freed my day today and the rest are all so excited about it. call me up ok. we all must go no matter what.

2007-01-03T00:38:00.000+08:00

new year at braddell heights was unexpectedly quite a good one.

and...

happy new year everyone.
may you live a prosperous 2007.
and ouh.
welcome 22.
*sobs*

2006-12-28T04:12:00.000+08:00

... doin' just fine...
boyz II men

there was a time when i thought life was over and out
when you went away from me
my dying heart made it hard to breathe

would sit in my room
because i didn't want to have to go out
and see you walking by
one look and i'd break right down and cry

now you say that you've made a big mistake
never meant to take your love away
but you can save your tired apologies
'cause it may seem hard to believe but

i'm doin' just fine
getting along very well without you in my life
(i don't need you in my life)
i'm doin' just fine
time made me stronger
you're no longer on my mind

you were my earth
my number one priority
i gave my love to only you
anything you'd ask of me i would do
but somewhere down the road
you felt a change in the weather
and told me that you had to journey on
a kiss in the wind and your love was gone
now you say you never meant to play your games
girl, don't you know it's far too late
because you let our love just fall apart
you no longer have a heart
when you said goodbye
i felt so all alone
there were times at night i couldn't sleep
my heart was much to weak to make it on my own
baby, after all the misery and pain you put me through
so unfair to me girl
you're no longer my world
and i ain't missin' you at all

------------------------------------------
and yes.
i'm really doing fine.
so dont even bother.

2006-12-26T01:01:00.000+08:00

you know. there are people who try to hide things they dont want us to know and sometimes they try too hard that they actually spill the beans themselves.

when you want to keep something secret, keep it to yourself. you think by blogging about it in an indirect manner, people wont be able to guess it.

you are wrong.

there are people who may seem like they dont care when they actually do. and so they pretend not to and make use of all the sources they can find to actually come up to a conclusion. do not be surprised when they figure it out. hah.

okay. im still in a state of shock. i shall take my time to adapt to it.

anyway. another whole different story.

i knew it. i knew earlier on that you are that typical selfish kind who makes use of me. you only find me when there is no one else to turn to. you only turn to me when no one trusts you. not that i do. you only cry to me when no one cares to listen. you yearn for sympathy. and you knew i would try to be there for you no matter what.

and now i see you are having the hell of a good life.

did you find me? no. i knew it would result to this but i refuse to take it all to heart. and what the hell did it get me? nothing.

thats why some people say...

it doesnt pay to be nice.

damn you.
get out of my life.

2006-12-22T01:37:00.000+08:00

my family just came back from their kl-genting trip yesterday, marking my end of inpendence. lol.

5 nights of home alone was okay. i felt independent for once. spending one night alone in the house wasnt as spooky as i thought it'd be. however i got some friends over and i did enjoy myself.

been so long since i last watched movies. my last one was devil wears prada. im not much of a movie-goer. huda and ashan said, i would be if i were to have a boyfriend. but i believe i dont have a very good attention span. haha. yeah yeah. big deal. anyway. so happy i met you both!

and so i did watch the holiday on saturday with sifah and kak lin. the movie was not bad. funny. and i love cameron diaz. dont ask me, watch the movie if you want to know.

however, i was too overwhelmed by the comfort of where i was to actually be fully concentrating on the movie. kak lin actually brought us to the gold class cinema at vivo city just because she did not want to wait one and a half hour for the movie to start. and it cost 30bucks per person!

crazy?

yes it is. but when i finally went into the gold class section, it simply awed me and i understood why. the service was great. it was like we were in a hotel. there was a so-called lobby. in the cinema, there were only several huge seats with blankets prepared. i adjusted my seat so much that i found myself almost sleeping in the midst of the movie. and there was a button which is for us to call for someone should we need anything at all. like they said, we will be treated like a star. well.

sort of. anyway, thanks kak lin!

i just treated my whole family to watch night at the museum. it was superb! i love it. similar to old time movie, jumanji. go catch it.

anyway. this is so gonna be random.

i love you both.

til then...

some people just ask for too much...
and others just sympathise...

2006-12-10T17:32:00.000+08:00

supposed to have a so-called eat-out thingy with the girls but one by one they called me, either to say they cannot make it or they are lazy come. nvm. lol.

so after watching the asia pacific match: singapore b div guys' match against australia, i ended up being at zana's place, doing what im doing now and listening to the songs in her desktop, while she take her beauty sleep before we go back to woodlands sports hall to watch singapore a div against australia.

im having my leave tmw and i forgot all about dzaf's "retro" bbq this wed. not until yesterday when i read the invitation thing again and today when zana was all excited about wearing whatever she has planned for the bbq. lol. dont worry zana. i wont give the info away.

and now im thinking. i wanna go too. but retro? its like everyone's so on about it and i must go with it too but what the hell am i gonna wear? oh man. outfit is always a problem for me. sigh.

tulah dzaf. buat themes lagi. haha. tapi aku suke. lol. anyway girl, i'll try my best to come. its really a tough decision to make. your bbq or skools trng. hmmm.

klah. im sick of typing. shall end here then. daaa!

oit zana. currently playing: that's when - aslyn. sedap siol. suker aku.